John 13:21-25: a reflection

21When Jesus had said this, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, “Most certainly I tell you that one of you will betray me.” 22The disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom he spoke. 23One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was at the table, leaning against Jesus’ chest. 24Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom he speaks.” 25He, leaning back, as he was, on Jesus’ chest, asked him, “Lord, who is it?”

At the Last Supper, one of the disciples, the one whom Jesus loved, is described in a tender posture of closeness: he was reclining next to Jesus, leaning back against his chest. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was at the table, leaning against Jesus' chest, the account says. And when Peter wanted to know whom Jesus meant when he spoke of a betrayer, this disciple, leaning back on Jesus' chest, simply asked him, Lord, who is it? The picture is of an intimate closeness to Jesus, a disciple resting near him, leaning on him, close enough to speak quietly to him. This closeness is not the privilege of one disciple only, but a picture of the nearness to Christ we are invited into. This shows the intimacy and closeness with Christ we are invited into. The beloved disciple leaned close, resting on Jesus. We are invited into a close, intimate nearness to Christ. Rest near Christ, close enough to speak quietly to him. Closeness to Jesus is a nearness we are invited into.

Notice the tender intimacy of the beloved disciple's posture. At the table, he was reclining next to Jesus, leaning back against his chest, so close that he could ask him a question quietly, in confidence. It is a picture of intimacy, of a disciple near enough to Jesus to rest against him, to lean on him, to speak with him closely. This is not meant to make us envy this one disciple, as though such closeness were his alone; rather, it pictures the nearness to Christ that all his disciples are invited into. We are invited to be close to Jesus, not to keep him at a distance, but to draw near, to rest against him, to lean on him, to bring our questions and our hearts to him in intimate closeness. There is a nearness to Christ available to us, a resting close to him, that this beloved disciple pictures. We can be tempted to keep Christ at a respectful distance, relating to him formally, from afar; but he invites us into closeness, to lean on him, to rest near him, to know him intimately. We do well to draw near to Christ in such closeness, resting on him, leaning on him, bringing our hearts to him, rather than keeping him at a distance. Draw near to Christ in closeness, resting and leaning on him. We are invited into intimacy with Christ, not distance. Do not keep Christ at a formal distance; lean close to him. Rest near Christ, bringing your heart to him intimately.

That is worth resting in, for we are invited into a close, intimate nearness to Christ, resting on him and leaning close to him, as the beloved disciple leaned against Jesus' chest. We can keep Christ at a respectful distance, relating to him formally and from afar; but the beloved disciple pictures the nearness to Christ we are invited into, resting close against him. Christ invites us near. When you are tempted to keep Christ at a distance, remember the beloved disciple leaning on his chest, and draw near to Christ in such closeness. Rest in the truth that we are invited into a close, intimate nearness to Christ, resting on him and leaning close to him, as at the Last Supper the disciple whom Jesus loved was reclining next to him, leaning back against his chest, close enough to ask him quietly, Lord, who is it; for the picture is of an intimate closeness to Jesus, a disciple resting near him and leaning on him, and this is not meant to make us envy this one disciple as though such closeness were his alone, but pictures the nearness to Christ that all his disciples are invited into, since we are invited to be close to Jesus, not to keep him at a distance but to draw near, rest against him, lean on him, and bring our questions and our hearts to him in intimate closeness, so that we can be tempted to keep Christ at a respectful distance, relating to him formally and from afar, but he invites us into closeness, to lean on him and know him intimately, and we do well to draw near to him in such closeness, resting on him and bringing our hearts to him rather than keeping him at a distance.

Lord Jesus, at the Last Supper, one of the disciples, the one whom you loved, is described in a tender posture of closeness: he was reclining next to you, leaning back against your chest. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was at the table, leaning against Jesus' chest, the account says. And when Peter wanted to know whom you meant when you spoke of a betrayer, this disciple, leaning back on your chest, simply asked you, Lord, who is it? The picture is of an intimate closeness to you, a disciple resting near you, leaning on you, close enough to speak quietly to you. This closeness is not the privilege of one disciple only, but a picture of the nearness to you I am invited into. Show me the tender intimacy of the beloved disciple's posture. At the table, he was reclining next to you, leaning against your chest, so close that he could ask you a question quietly. It is a picture of intimacy, of a disciple near enough to rest against you, to lean on you, to speak with you closely. This is not meant to make me envy this one disciple, as though such closeness were his alone; rather, it pictures the nearness to you that all your disciples are invited into. I am invited to be close to you, not to keep you at a distance, but to draw near, to rest against you, to lean on you, to bring my questions and my heart to you in intimate closeness. I can be tempted to keep you at a respectful distance, relating to you formally, from afar; but you invite me into closeness. Take that to my heart, for I am invited into a close, intimate nearness to you, resting on you and leaning close to you. When I am tempted to keep you at a distance, help me remember the beloved disciple leaning on your chest, and draw near to you in such closeness, Lord, resting on you, leaning on you, and bringing my heart to you intimately rather than keeping you at a formal distance.