2 Samuel 13:23-28: a reflection

23After two full years, Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal Hazor, which is beside Ephraim; and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24Absalom came to the king and said, “See now, your servant has sheep shearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25The king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let’s not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him; however he would not go, but blessed him. 26Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” The king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27But Absalom pressed him, and he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28Absalom commanded his servants, saying, “Mark now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine; and when I tell you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I commanded you? Be courageous, and be valiant!”

This passage tells of a murder long in the planning. Absalom, nursing a bitter grievance against his brother Amnon over a terrible wrong, waited two full years, hiding his hatred, before finally arranging a feast where he could have Amnon killed. For two years the hatred festered and the plan matured, hidden behind a mask of normalcy, until it came to its violent end. The wrong Amnon had done was real; but Absalom's response was a revenge nursed in secret over two long years.

Notice how the revenge was nursed in secret over a long time. Absalom did not act in a moment of hot anger; he harbored his hatred quietly for two years, letting it fester, planning, waiting for his moment, all behind a calm exterior. The grievance was real, but rather than seeking justice or letting it go, he nursed it into a cold, patient revenge that finally erupted in murder. The long, secret harboring of the grievance made it grow into something deadly.

That is a warning about the danger of nursing a grievance in secret, letting it fester into revenge. When we have been wronged, even genuinely wronged, we can harbor the hurt quietly, letting it grow, nursing it into resentment and a desire for revenge that festers over time behind a calm face. But such nursed bitterness grows into something destructive, as Absalom's did. Do not nurse a grievance in secret, letting it fester into revenge. When you have been wronged, do not harbor the hurt quietly until it grows into bitterness and the desire for revenge; bring it into the light, seek what justice you rightly can, and above all entrust the wrong to God, who judges justly, rather than nursing a private revenge. Vengeance nursed in secret grows deadly, as Absalom's did; do not let a real wrong become, in your heart, a festering revenge. Entrust it to God, and let it go, rather than harboring it into something that will destroy.

Lord, this passage tells of a murder long in the planning: Absalom, nursing a bitter grievance against his brother, waited two years, hiding his hatred behind a calm face, before arranging to have him killed; the long, secret harboring of the grievance grew into something deadly. Warn me by it about nursing a grievance in secret, letting it fester into revenge. When I have been wronged, even genuinely wronged, I can harbor the hurt quietly, letting it grow, nursing it into resentment and a desire for revenge that festers over time behind a calm face. But such nursed bitterness grows into something destructive, as Absalom's did. Keep me from nursing a grievance in secret, letting it fester into revenge. When I have been wronged, keep me from harboring the hurt quietly until it grows into bitterness; help me bring it into the light, seek what justice I rightly can, and above all entrust the wrong to you, who judge justly, rather than nursing a private revenge. Vengeance nursed in secret grows deadly; do not let a real wrong become, in my heart, a festering revenge. Help me entrust it to you, and let it go, Lord.