Matthew 26:35-39: a reflection

35Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you.” All of the disciples also said likewise. 36Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go there and pray.” 37He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and severely troubled. 38Then Jesus said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with me.” 39He went forward a little, fell on his face, and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me; nevertheless, not what I desire, but what you desire.”

In the garden of Gethsemane, on the eve of his death, Jesus is in agony. His soul is overwhelmed with sorrow, even to death; and he falls on his face and prays. My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. He does not pretend he does not shrink from the suffering ahead; he asks, if it is possible, to be spared it. But then comes the surrender that is the heart of the prayer: nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Even in his anguish, he submits his own desire to the Father's will.

Notice the shape of Jesus' prayer in his agony. He is honest about his desire: he asks, if possible, that the cup pass from him; he does not hide that he shrinks from the suffering. But he does not stop there; he surrenders his desire to the Father's will: not as I will, but as you will. This is not a denial of his own desire, but a submission of it; he brings his honest desire to the Father, and then yields it to the Father's greater will. Honest desire, and surrender, held together.

That prayer is the pattern for our own prayers in suffering, when we face something we would rather not. We can be honest with God about our desire, asking, if it is possible, to be spared the suffering; we need not pretend we do not shrink from it. But like Jesus, we are then to surrender our desire to the Father's will: not as I will, but as you will. When you face a cup you would rather not drink, pray as Jesus prayed: honestly ask, if possible, to be spared it; but then surrender your desire to the Father's will, saying, not as I will, but as you will. Bring your honest desire to God, and then yield it to his greater will, trusting that his will, even when it means the cup, is good. This is the prayer of surrender Jesus prayed in his agony; make it your own when you face what you would rather not, holding honest desire and surrender together, as he did.

Lord Jesus, in Gethsemane, overwhelmed with sorrow even to death, you prayed, my Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet you did not stop there, but surrendered your desire, nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Make that prayer the pattern for my own prayers in suffering, when I face something I would rather not. Help me be honest with you about my desire, asking, if it is possible, to be spared the suffering; I need not pretend I do not shrink from it. But like you, help me then surrender my desire to the Father's will: not as I will, but as you will. When I face a cup I would rather not drink, help me pray as you prayed: honestly asking, if possible, to be spared it; but then surrendering my desire to the Father's will. Help me bring my honest desire to God, and then yield it to his greater will, trusting that his will, even when it means the cup, is good. This is the prayer of surrender you prayed in your agony; help me make it my own when I face what I would rather not, holding honest desire and surrender together, as you did. Help me pray, not my will but yours, Lord.