Sirach 22:18-27: a reflection

18Fences set on a high place will not stand against the wind; so a fearful heart in the imagination of a fool will not stand against any fear. 19He who pricks the eye will make tears fall. He who pricks the heart makes it show feeling. 20Whoever casts a stone at birds scares them away. He who insults a friend will dissolve friendship. 21If you have drawn a sword against a friend, don’t despair, for there may be a way back. 22If you have opened your mouth against a friend, don’t be afraid, for there may be reconciliation, unless it is for insulting, arrogance, disclosing of a secret, or a treacherous blow— for these things any friend will flee. 23Gain trust with your neighbor in his poverty, that in his prosperity you may have gladness. Stay steadfast to him in the time of his affliction, that you may be heir with him in his inheritance. 24Before fire is the vapor and smoke of a furnace, so insults precede bloodshed. 25I won’t be ashamed to shelter a friend. I won’t hide myself from his face. 26If any evil happens to me because of him, everyone who hears it will beware of him. 27Who will set a watch over my mouth, and a seal of shrewdness upon my lips, that I may not fall from it, and that my tongue may not destroy me?

Sirach reflects on the wounds that words can inflict on a friendship, but holds out hope of reconciliation. If you have drawn a sword against a friend, he says, don't despair, for there may be a way back. If you have opened your mouth against a friend, don't be afraid, for there may be reconciliation. A quarrel, a harsh word, even a real wound to a friendship, need not be the end; there may be a way back, a reconciliation. Sirach does not pretend words do no harm; he knows that insults precede injury, that a wounded friendship suffers. But he refuses despair: reconciliation is often possible, and we should not give a friendship up for lost after a quarrel or a hasty word. Only certain things, betrayal, contempt, disclosing a secret, drive a friend away for good; short of these, there may be a way back. A wounded friendship is often not beyond repair.

Notice the hope Sirach holds out: after wounding a friend, there may be a way back. He does not minimize the harm words can do; he knows a harsh word wounds, that we can grieve a friend. But he refuses to treat a quarrel or a hasty word as the end of a friendship. Don't despair, he says; there may be a way back, reconciliation may be possible. Only the deepest betrayals, he notes, drive a friend away for good; short of those, a wounded friendship can often be repaired. This is a word against the despair that gives a friendship up for lost after a quarrel, and against the pride that will not seek reconciliation. Many a friendship wounded by words can be healed if we do not despair but seek the way back. Reconciliation is often nearer than our discouragement assumes. To seek reconciliation after wounding a friend, rather than giving the friendship up, is wise. A quarrel need not be final; there is often a way back.

That is worth taking to heart, for reconciliation with a wounded friend is often possible; we should not despair after a quarrel or a harsh word. When we have wounded a friend, or been wounded, we can despair of the friendship, giving it up for lost, or let pride keep us from seeking reconciliation; but Sirach says, don't despair, for there may be a way back. A quarrel or a hasty word need not be the end; reconciliation is often possible, short of the deepest betrayals. Do not give a wounded friendship up for lost after a quarrel; seek the way back, for reconciliation is often possible, as Sirach urges. Do not despair of a friendship wounded by a quarrel or a harsh word, but seek reconciliation, for there is often a way back, as Sirach says that if you have opened your mouth against a friend there may be reconciliation, short of the betrayals that drive a friend away for good; for words can wound a friendship without ending it, and reconciliation is often nearer than our discouragement assumes, so that we do well to seek the way back rather than give a wounded friendship up for lost.

Lord, Sirach reflects on the wounds that words can inflict on a friendship, but holds out hope of reconciliation. If you have drawn a sword against a friend, he says, don't despair, for there may be a way back. If you have opened your mouth against a friend, don't be afraid, for there may be reconciliation. A quarrel, a harsh word, even a real wound to a friendship, need not be the end; there may be a way back. Sirach does not pretend words do no harm; he knows that a wounded friendship suffers. But he refuses despair: reconciliation is often possible, and we should not give a friendship up for lost after a quarrel. Only certain things, betrayal, contempt, disclosing a secret, drive a friend away for good. Show me the hope Sirach holds out: after wounding a friend, there may be a way back. He does not minimize the harm words can do; he knows a harsh word wounds. But he refuses to treat a quarrel as the end of a friendship. Don't despair, he says; there may be a way back. Only the deepest betrayals drive a friend away for good; short of those, a wounded friendship can often be repaired. This is a word against the despair that gives a friendship up for lost, and against the pride that will not seek reconciliation. Reconciliation is often nearer than our discouragement assumes. Take that to my heart, for reconciliation with a wounded friend is often possible; I should not despair after a quarrel or a harsh word. When I have wounded a friend, or been wounded, I can despair of the friendship, or let pride keep me from seeking reconciliation; but Sirach says, don't despair, for there may be a way back. Keep me from giving a wounded friendship up for lost after a quarrel; help me seek the way back, Lord, for reconciliation is often possible, as Sirach urges.