Genesis 27:41-46: a reflection

41Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him. Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand. Then I will kill my brother Jacob.” 42The words of Esau, her elder son, were told to Rebekah. She sent and called Jacob, her younger son, and said to him, “Behold, your brother Esau comforts himself about you by planning to kill you. 43Now therefore, my son, obey my voice. Arise, flee to Laban, my brother, in Haran. 44Stay with him a few days, until your brother’s fury turns away— 45until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send, and get you from there. Why should I be bereaved of you both in one day?” 46Rebekah said to Isaac, “I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth. If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these, of the daughters of the land, what good will my life do me?”

After Jacob deceived his father to gain the blessing, his brother Esau nursed a bitter, murderous hatred against him. Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing, the account says; and Esau said in his heart, I will kill my brother Jacob. The hatred grew in Esau's heart until it became a settled intention to murder. This shows how a nursed grievance, a harbored hatred, can grow into something destructive, even murderous, when it is allowed to fester in the heart. Esau did not let the wrong go or seek to resolve it; he nursed his hatred until it darkened into a plan to kill. And Rebekah, learning of it, wisely sent Jacob away for a time, until Esau's fury could cool, showing that removing ourselves from a volatile situation, and giving anger time to cool, can prevent worse harm. Nursed hatred grows destructive; and giving anger time to cool is often wiser than letting it burn. A harbored grudge can grow murderous; distance and time can let it cool.

Notice two things here: the destructiveness of Esau's nursed hatred, and the wisdom of letting anger cool. Esau's hatred, harbored and nursed rather than released or resolved, grew until it became a settled intention to kill his brother. This is how a grudge works when we feed it: it grows, darkens, and can become destructive, even murderous. Nursed hatred does not stay the same; it festers and grows worse. But Rebekah's counsel shows wisdom in the face of it: she sent Jacob away for a time, until Esau's fury would cool, until his anger turned away. Rather than forcing a confrontation while anger burned hot, she gave it time and distance to cool. There is wisdom here on both sides: a warning against nursing hatred, which grows destructive; and a wisdom in giving anger, our own or another's, time and distance to cool rather than letting it burn to worse harm. A grudge fed grows dangerous; anger given time often cools. To let hatred fester is folly; to give anger time to cool is wise.

That is worth taking to heart, for nursed hatred grows destructive, and there is wisdom in giving anger time to cool. We can nurse a grievance, harbor hatred against someone who has wronged us, feeding it until it grows destructive, as Esau's hatred grew into a murderous intent; but a nursed grudge festers and worsens. And there is wisdom, when anger burns hot, in giving it time and distance to cool, as Rebekah sent Jacob away until Esau's fury would turn away, rather than forcing a confrontation. Do not nurse hatred, which grows destructive; and give anger, yours or another's, time to cool, as Rebekah wisely did. Do not nurse a grudge or harbor hatred, which festers and grows destructive, and give anger time and distance to cool rather than forcing a confrontation while it burns, as Esau's nursed hatred of Jacob grew into a plan to kill him and Rebekah wisely sent Jacob away until his brother's fury would cool; for a harbored hatred does not stay the same but grows worse, even murderous, when we feed it, and there is wisdom in giving anger, our own or another's, time and distance to cool rather than letting it burn to worse harm, so that to release a grievance rather than nurse it, and to let anger cool rather than force it, is the wiser way.

Lord, after Jacob deceived his father to gain the blessing, his brother Esau nursed a bitter, murderous hatred against him. Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing, the account says; and Esau said in his heart, I will kill my brother Jacob. The hatred grew in Esau's heart until it became a settled intention to murder. This shows how a nursed grievance, a harbored hatred, can grow into something destructive, even murderous, when it is allowed to fester in the heart. Esau did not let the wrong go or seek to resolve it; he nursed his hatred until it darkened into a plan to kill. And Rebekah, learning of it, wisely sent Jacob away for a time, until Esau's fury could cool. Show me two things here: the destructiveness of Esau's nursed hatred, and the wisdom of letting anger cool. Esau's hatred, harbored and nursed rather than released, grew until it became a settled intention to kill his brother. This is how a grudge works when we feed it: it grows, darkens, and can become destructive. Nursed hatred does not stay the same; it festers and grows worse. But Rebekah's counsel shows wisdom: she sent Jacob away for a time, until Esau's fury would cool. There is a warning against nursing hatred, and a wisdom in giving anger time and distance to cool. Take that to my heart, for nursed hatred grows destructive, and there is wisdom in giving anger time to cool. I can nurse a grievance, harbor hatred against someone who has wronged me, feeding it until it grows destructive, as Esau's hatred grew into a murderous intent; but a nursed grudge festers and worsens. Keep me from nursing a grudge or harboring hatred, which grows destructive, Lord; help me release grievances rather than feed them, and give anger, mine or another's, time and distance to cool rather than forcing a confrontation, as Rebekah wisely sent Jacob away until his brother's fury would cool.